Paddleboard Cleanup Rules

I recently helped clean up trash at the mouth of Shoal Creek and a stretch of Dry Creek, while on my paddleboard.  Here are some things I learned.  Enjoy!

You should be completely comfortable knowing how to manipulate your boat in tight situations.  This is no time to try to figure out how to paddle.

Spot a piece of trash.

Do NOT paddle over to it and pick it up.

First, look for snakes. Then, look for poison ivy.

If there are snakes, look for another piece of trash elsewhere. 

If there is poison ivy, plan your escape paddle route, incorporating wind direction and speed.  Evasive ivy paddling trumps all else.  Be prepared to drop the hard won trash to save yourself from the ivy, if need be.

When everything works out in your favor - 

Pick up the piece of trash.

Don’t forget about the poison ivy nearby.

Be careful, there are often sharp rusty edges involved.

If it’s a closed container, don’t open it and pour it into the water.  It could be coolant. (Sorry L)

Dry Creek bottom smells different than Shoal Creek bottom.

VCR tapes last a long time in water.

Trash is quickly covered over with muck.  The best time to pick up trash is within a day or two after a big rain.  I know there was a ton more trash to pick up, but I couldn’t see it, so now it’s part of the river bed.  This is why I don’t walk in urban water barefoot.

There will be spiders.

If you see it, pick it up, no matter how small.  One Styrofoam bead looks exactly like the fish food I feed my koi.  Seems like it may be more dangerous to fish than an intact styrofoam cup.

Bright red things are not necessarily man-made.  That one texas mountain laurel seed that had settled on the shoals of shoal creek fooled me.

Fishing line and tackle is horrible.  Pruning shears work well to clip branches off trees when you can’t get the line untangled. 

Pruning shears don’t float.

Fishermen who leave line and tackle behind on trees (or even in fish, leaving them to slowly starve to death) should occupy the lowest level of hell when they die. 

Put the trash in the trashbag.

Open trashbags are sails.  You’ll need to figure out how to not make yours a sail, until you’ve put enough heavy trash in it.  This means incorporating wind direction and speed into your plan.

Congratulations!  You just cleaned up your first piece of trash!

Repeat.

Stop when your bag is full.  Or when you’ve had enough of this.

Paddle to shore.

Make a fun animal out of your trash and post it to social media.

Don’t touch any part of your body until you’ve washed your hands.

Wash your hands again.

Wash your phone, too.